I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
