Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
