the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
