Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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