Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
