im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
