the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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