I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
