What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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