I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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