just tell him i said nine months
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
