I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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