I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
