He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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