well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
its liver damage thursday
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
