i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
