If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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