Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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