Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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