Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Operation Purity has been aborted
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
