so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
