How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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