you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
