dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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