so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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