She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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