Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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