Small penises have feelings too.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
