thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
