I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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