I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
