Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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