is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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