i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
