Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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