i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
