I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We left the knife in your bed.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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