So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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