I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
