i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize