i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
