i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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