Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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