This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
