Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
