Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
