Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
