remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
