I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
