i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
