pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
