i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
