help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
