I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
