this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
