Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
