Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
