she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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