One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
