ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
